She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
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my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
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We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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