my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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