I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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