he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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