I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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