You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize