Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize