Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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