happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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