Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize