hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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