Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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