he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize