well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize