you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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