I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize