I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
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I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
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At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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