I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize