new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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