i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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