I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
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We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
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Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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