Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
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I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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