i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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