I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize