AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I cut my penus on the lid.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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