the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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