Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
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he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
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You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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