Got a toothbrush?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize