Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize