The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
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My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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