i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize