some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize