What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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