Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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