I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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