Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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