my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize