when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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