I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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