You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
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as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
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I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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