I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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