I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
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All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
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Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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