Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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