I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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