No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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