Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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