I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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