ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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