Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize