I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
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You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
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Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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